It was a night of fabulous frivolity, where Pop music’s biggest and brightest stars congregated to dance, drink and be merry. No not the Brits, Poptastic Manchester’s 14th birthday fancy dress party at Club Alter Ego, Princess Street.

It was 7:30pm and I was on my second Cheeky V already. Britney had rang and was having trouble with keeping her mother from attending my pre-Poptastic affair and I had heard that one of the Beach Boys were going to crash the party!

Still, being the gracious host that I am and since Gwen Stefani had bailed because her Harajuku girls were sick and no one had seen Mr Blobby to ask him if he was still coming, I decided to take a breath and just make more vodka jelly.
After the arrival of several of my celebrity friends and suitable pouting at paparazzi I grabbed Lilly Allen away from the Bruschetta to sew me and John into our costumes. That is, John, my brother... I’m Edward together we are Jedward. We were once again donning the Ghost Buster outfits that we wore on stage at The X Factor.

It was time to descend into rainy Manchester, fortunately only a short walk along the canal from my flat, a pit stop at View on Canal Street and then straight on to join the queue at Club Alter Ego. The paparazzi were a nightmare but luckily David Bowie new the Door-Whore and we got in quickly, before Britney could smack them with her umbrella.
Freddie Mercury welcomed us, looking better than ever. The club was buzzing and quiet at this point but within half an hour the queue was around the corner and the club was filled to capacity. It is a good job I’ve never had a problem getting served at the bar!

The tunes were typically Poptastic and the crowd were typically fabulous. I saw Cheryl Cole donning her Fight for this Love outfit from the X Factor performance, only her hair was shorter and her voice a little deeper. Still, she has had it rough lately and would later go on to be told off by the DJ for falling all over the stage.

Myself and John circulated the room well, being sure to be seen by everyone – 1st prize for fancy dress was £200 and since we’ve recently been dropped by our record label we really need the cash!
We shared a snap with Mr Poptastic himself, John Hamilton who had various outfit changes throughout the night. The policeman from the Village People bought us a drink; there was a policeman in the Village People, right? Britney’s mum really let her hair down, much to the disgrace of Britney herself – as if she could be further disgraced, thinking she could still pull off the school girl outfit. Amy Winehouse slurred to me that “they tried to send [her] to Rehab but [she] said, no no no”, and then wobbled off with JD ‘n Coke in hand.

However, no star shone as brightly that night as the Poptastic special guest who has appeared, a record breaking 13 times, on the Jerry Springer Show, Miss Laquisha Jonz.
Laquisha took to the stage and sang a few ditties including Primark is a Girl’s Best Friend and Bad Boys, dedicated to the security guard to her left. After gassing us out with her ‘Tesco: Value’ hairspray she departed and boarded the £1 Mega Bus headed for London. Class all the way.

We danced long into the night but it soon came to 1am and the results of the fancy dress contest were to be announced. Myself and John already had an idea we were up for a prize after spotting Poptastic staff pointing us out and then being asked to stay near the stage. Subtle aren’t they. The DJ read out the winners, in 3rd place Cheryl Cole (Fight for this Love) and Cheryl Cole (The Loving Kind). I hope that cheers her up. 2nd place – “The Jedward Boys”, £150 was ours! I hope that pays the bills until Louis Walsh can get us a gig! 1st place went to Lady Gaga’s sister, a mysterious lady no one had set eyes on and who would later not pick up her prize money.

It was time to depart, via the Chip shop. I shared a cab home with a Beach Boy, I’m not sure which one. Happy Birthday Poptastic!

Words by Jordan McDowell. Images by Nathan Photo.

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